Is Abuse Happening In Your Home?

Lee County Sheriff’s Office
Victim Services Unit
(239) 477-1050
Spanish Line
                  (ESPAÑOL)
                (239) 477-1678

Are You Being Abusive?

Ask yourself These Questions…

• Do you constantly check up on your partner and accuse them of affairs?
• Are you extremely jealous or possessive?
• Do have an explosive temper?
• Is your partner afraid of you?
• Have you hit, kicked, shoved, choked, pulled hair or thrown things at your partner?
• Do you become violent when you drink or use drugs?
• Have you threatened your partner or their family?
• Have you punched walls or broken things in their presence?
• Have you forced your partner to have sex with you or intimidated them so they are afraid to say no?
• Have you threatened to hurt yourself if they break up with you or leave?
• After a violent episode have you become remorseful and promised not to do so again?

Unhealthy Relationships

Intimidation

• Making your partner afraid by using looks, actions, gestures
• Smashing or destroying things
• Displaying guns or weapons
• Coercion and threats
• Abusing pets

 Emotional Abuse

• Putting your partner down/name calling
• Questioning your partners sanity
• Playing mind games

Using Isolation

• Controlling what they do, who they see and talk to, what they read and where they go
• Using jealousy to justify actions
• Limiting involvement with family and friends

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming

• Making light of the abuse
• Saying the abuse didn’t happen
• Saying they caused it

Using Children

• Threatening to take away the children
• Using visitation to harass

Using Economic Abuse

• Control Income
• Preventing them from getting or keeping a job
• Not allowing any access to family income

Cycle of Violence

Excuses,

Apologies,                Amend

Tension                   Abuse
      Builds               Takes Place

Consequences

If you are arrested for domestic battery, you can expect…

• Loss of residence
• Loss of contact with your children
• Criminal history as an abuser
• Loss of work
• Court costs & expenses
• Up to one year in prison
• Up to $1,000.00 in fines

Felony Battery

• Up to 5-15 years in prison
• Up to $5,000 - $10,000 in fines.

After any conviction for Battery, any subsequent conviction for Battery will be increased to a Felony.

Healthy Relationships

• Negotiation & Fairness
• Respect
• Trust & Support
• Honesty & Accountability
• Shared Responsibility
• Economic Partnership
• Responsible Parenting
• Non-Threatening Behavior

Effects of Domestic Violence On Children…

• Developmental delays, language problems, stress-related physical illnesses, speech and hearing problems
• Constant anxiety (afraid another beating will occur)
• Fear of abandonment
• Guilt for not being able to stop the abuse or for loving the abuser
• Taking responsibility for the abuse

Children Learn What They Live

People with abusive or controlling behaviors come from all socioeconomic backgrounds, races, religions and age groups.  They may be blue-collar workers, unemployed or highly paid, may be a drinker or nondrinker.  They represent all types of personalities, family background and professions.  There is no typical abuser.  Most adults who are abusive witnessed abuse in their homes as children or were abused themselves.   Violence in the home has serious consequences for everyone involved, for the individual who doesn’t get help, the partner that is hurt and the children who live in a violent home.

• Girls from homes with domestic violence are 6.5 times more likely to be victims of a sexual assault, more likely to become pregnant as a teen and become victims of domestic violence themselves.
• Boys from homes with domestic violence are six times more likely to commit suicide, have a 74% greater chance of committing crimes against others and are 1,000 times more likely to commit violent acts against an adult partner or their own children.
• 80% of all runaways come from homes where domestic violence occurs.
• 63% of boys, ages 11 to 20 arrested for homicide have killed their mothers’ abuser.
• Children who grow up in violent homes feel responsible for the violence and are impacted for a lifetime.

Without intervention, assaults usually increase in severity and frequency.

Resources